


Life and Love

by macca (NelyafinweFeanorion)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Barcelona Grand Prix Final, Canon Compliant, Canon compliant just goes into detail on that hotel room scene with Victor and Yuuri, Episode 11 Spoilers, Ice Skating, M/M, Miscommunication, Where to go from here, Yuri on Ice - Freeform, anxious yuuri, i need closure on that cliffhanger, post episode 11, relationships, thoughtful Victor, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 01:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8870620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NelyafinweFeanorion/pseuds/macca
Summary: Viktor's thoughts after the Grand Prix Final short program. Yuuri wants to have a talk. Viktor is not expecting this.I can't stop thinking about events of episode 11. I think, as usual, Yuuri is misunderstanding Viktor. I think it will all come together better than episode 11 left us. These are my thoughts on what may have been going through Viktor's head and Yuuri's interpretation of that. Post episode 11. Spoilers for episode 11. I hope it all ends up more like this! I can't wait for episode 12 but at the same time I am so devastated that it is the last episode!





	

Love and Life

Viktor couldn’t remember the last time he had actually enjoyed watching a skating competition. Watching for the artistry and the skill—not to critically evaluate his competition.

He squeezed Yuuri’s hand and smiled at him. They were headed back to the hotel, after the short program event. Yuuri gave him a tentative smile back but it didn’t reach his eyes. Viktor squeezed his hand again.

He knew Yuuri was disappointed in his performance. Viktor was more disappointed in the judges scoring of it and he had told Yuuri that, earlier. 

They both knew he could skate, in fact had skated, Eros better than he had tonight. Viktor had expected it to be brilliant. They had parted at rink side with love—kissing their rings. But Yuuri’s facial expression at the start wasn’t his usual flirtatious one—it was determined and almost angry. That had worried Viktor for a moment but then the program had seemed to flow until the quad flip.

Viktor felt responsible. When Yuuri had stated he wanted the quad flip in his short program, to increase the difficulty so he could be on more equal footing with JJ, Viktor should have counseled him not to do it.

A seasoned coach would have known it was a bad idea. But Viktor wasn’t a seasoned coach. The idea had excited him—it was something he himself would have done—and he let his excitement and his difficulty saying no to Yuuri overrule his better judgment. Yuuri had paid for Viktor’s inexperience.

Viktor frowned, not realizing Yuuri was watching his face. It was not a complete loss, Viktor told himself. Fourth was a reasonable place to be, going into the free skate. He knew Yuuri could skate a clean program for “Yuri on Ice.” Phichit wouldn’t have the technical complexity to beat him.

Chris could go either way; better or worse than his short program performance but Viktor knew he lacked Yuuri’s stamina.

Otabek was a question. He had skated well the past few seasons and was likely a challenge for Yuuri to overcome.

Yurio seemed to be in his element today but would that carry over? He had the technique and artistry but he lacked experience and his mood was a huge factor as well.

JJ might recover from the disaster of his short program but even with a perfect free skate performance it would be hard to reach a gold with such a low score today.

Yuuri had a chance. If he skated his free skate the way he had for Viktor in practice, he could do it. He stole a look at Yuuri, unaware that Yuuri had been watching him as he considered the other skaters.

Yuuri looked worried. Viktor knew that expression well. It wouldn’t do, Viktor decided. He would have to distract Yuuri tonight, get him to relax and focus on his love of skating to prepare him for the free skate coming up.

Yuuri probably had no idea how adorable he looked right now. A true melding of his skater look with his regular Yuuri look—hair slicked back and away from his eyes but his glasses on, giving him such a young, innocent appearance. 

Viktor’s chest tightened. He loved Yuuri so much. Loved everything about him—his kindness, his smile, his skill on the ice, the way he embodied the music. Loving Yuuri had given Viktor the strength to step back from skating, to leave Russia and go to Japan, to coach him. To allow himself to finally live his life on his own terms and find love.

It had been sheer joy to watch the skating tonight; to appreciate those performances for their skill and artistry. He could step back now and know it was the right decision. It was time for the skating world to move on from Viktor Nikiforov—there were new names to excite the crowds and break the records.

Viktor didn’t need that adoration or recognition anymore. All he needed was to be close to Yuuri—his love was more than enough. He would coach Yuuri as long as Yuuri wanted to skate professionally. After that? After that they could decide their future together.

Viktor smiled as he daydreamed about Yuuri teaching young skaters and the two of them coaching a new generation of champions—together. He was startled out of his visions when the bus arrived at the hotel.

He would have to find the right tone with Yuuri tonight. To bring his focus back to his love of skating and less on the pressures of being in the GPF. He would do exactly what Yuuri asked of him--he would have faith in Yuuri’s capabilities and encourage him.

He should abbreviate his usual critique tonight; just touch on Yuuri keeping his mind off the points and more on his theme of love. Gentle and encouraging. 

He took Yuuri’s hand again as they walked to the elevator and held it as they made their way to their room. “Yuuri,” Viktor said. “Do you want to go out to eat or should we just order room service and stay here tonight?”

Yuuri looked at him, a small frown on his face. “Viktor, I need to talk to you,” Yuuri said quietly.

“We can talk, if you would rather do that, Yuuri,” Viktor said, putting his arms around him.

“After,” Yuuri said, looking down. “I need to shower.”

Viktor lay on the bed as Yuuri showered. He ordered room service and looked out the window at Barcelona in the night. Yuuri stepped back into the room, his hair wet from showering.

“Do you want to talk now or should I shower first?” Viktor asked. “I ordered food for us so we don’t need to go out.”

“Go ahead and shower,” Yuuri said. “We can talk after that.”

Viktor hugged him on his way to the bathroom. “I haven’t had my coach’s chat with you tonight yet, zvezda moya, but it can wait. I don’t have much to add to what I said earlier.” Viktor smiled down at Yuuri.

Yuuri nodded and gave Viktor a quick hug back. "Later," he said.

Viktor stepped out of the bathroom, noted the room service tray by the door and walked over to the bed to sit across from Yuuri.

“You wanted to talk, Yuuri?” Viktor said, running the towel through his still wet hair.

Yuuri looked at him, gripping his phone tightly in his hand and making a fist with his free hand. He was nervous, Viktor noticed, a quick shiver going down his spine. Why would he be nervous talking to him? He gave Yuuri a small smile of encouragement.

“Viktor . . .” Yuuri started. “Viktor, after the final, let’s end this.”

Viktor’s eyes grew wide as he stared at Yuuri in disbelief. “End this?” he said, his voice cracking over the words. “End what, Yuuri?” His stomach clenched and there was a buzzing in his ears. This is what Yuuri wanted to talk about? This wasn’t a time for an ending. This was a beginning—the beginning of Viktor’s new life—his life beyond skating. His life with Yuuri.

He blinked stupidly at Yuuri, his heart racing as he waited for Yuuri’s next words.

Yuuri frowned and then a determined look came over his face as he looked at Viktor again. “End the coaching, Viktor. I’ve decided this is my last competition.” He looked at Viktor intently. “I know I asked you to stay with me until I retire. This is when I retire—after this GPF.”

“But why?” Viktor heard his voice crack again. “Why now? You are skating so beautifully, Yuuri.”

“Viktor, I’m so grateful for all you’ve done for me. You brought me to a point I couldn’t have imagined a year ago.” Yuuri swallowed and then continued. “But you’ve paid the price. You left skating, when you were still at your peak. I can’t keep you away from what you love so very much. It’s time for me to step back from skating and for you to go back to doing what you love.”

Viktor stared at Yuuri, speechless. “Doing what I love?” he finally repeated. “I love coaching you, Yuuri. I told you I’d prefer if you never retired.” Viktor blinked rapidly and then reached out to take Yuuri’s hand, the one with the ring on it. “Yuuri, I don’t miss skating. Skating took all of my focus and left me with nothing else. These months with you have given me so much more.” He kissed Yuuri’s hand. “Why would you think I would want to go back?”

Yuuri looked at him, confusion on his face now. “But Viktor, I saw your face tonight. I saw how much you were enjoying the other skaters and their programs. I saw how much it hurt you to have Yurio break your World Record—and to know that I was the reason you weren’t on that ice tonight—I couldn’t live with that guilt.”

Viktor shook his head. “I wasn’t hurt that Yurio broke my record. It was only a matter of time until someone did. That Yurio did it with a program that I choreographed for him? That made it even better.” Viktor rubbed Yuuri’s hand and leaned forward. “Yuuri, tonight you saw me enjoying a competition for the first time as a spectator—not as a competitor and for a short while, not even as your coach, just as someone who loves skating. It doesn’t mean I miss skating. It means I finally get to enjoy it with someone I love, for the sake of the skating itself, not for myself.” He frowned at Yuuri. “Do you understand what I am saying?”

Yuuri shook his head. “No, Viktor, I don’t. You weren’t missing being on the ice tonight?”

“No, Yuuri! If anything, I was saying good-bye to that part of my life.” He spoke again quickly, as he caught Yuuri’s anguished expression. “I want to say good bye to that life, Yuuri. The last twenty years have been dedicated to skating, to being a champion, to being the best I can be.” He went down on his knees in front of Yuuri. “I’m done with that. I want to live my life for something other than skating. I want to live my life with you.”

“With me?” Yuuri said slowly.

“With you.” Viktor held up the hand that wore the ring Yuuri had given him. “I told you this was an engagement ring. I meant that.”

“You weren’t just trying to encourage me by saying that?”

“No, lyubov moya, I was telling you the truth. It doesn’t matter to me what place you get tomorrow, as long as you enjoy yourself while you skate. All that matters to me is what you want. I intend to stay with you, no matter what the result is tomorrow. I made my choice, Yuuri. My choice is you.” He paused and looked at Yuuri intently. “If you’ll have me.”

“Oh, Viktor,” Yuuri slid off the bed onto his knees in front of Viktor. “I want to make you proud tomorrow. To show the world Viktor Nikiforov wasn’t wasting his time and destroying his career for some washed up skater.”

“You make me proud every day, Yuuri. You are no washed up skater.” Viktor leaned forward and kissed Yuuri’s forehead. “You are my precious katsudon who skates for the love of skating, nothing else. Just show that love tomorrow, Yuuri and the world will know just how worth it you are to me.” He bent his head and kissed Yuuri’s lips, gently.

Yuuri returned the kiss with more passion that Viktor expected, his lips pulling at Viktor’s and parting Viktor’s lips with their intensity. He pulled back to look at Viktor and smiled. “Stay close to me?” he asked.

“Always,” Viktor said, leaning down to kiss Yuuri again.

**Author's Note:**

> Russian endearments:  
> zvezda moya--my star  
> lyubov moya--my love


End file.
